Anxiety Archives - The Anxious Ladybug

The 5 Most Common Types of Therapy for Trauma Recovery

Starting therapy is a HUGE step toward trauma recovery, but finding a therapist that fits your needs is overwhelming! What are all of these acronyms? How do you know which types of therapy for trauma are right for you?

As a trauma therapist, I have learned the ins and outs of the different treatment modalities. I know that therapy needs to be individualized to meet the needs of different people, so learning these different methods has been life-changing. This post is ALL ABOUT the most common types of therapy for trauma recovery.

EMDR

One of the most common types of therapy for trauma that is becoming even more popular is EMDR. EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing. Quite the mouthful! TLDR; you move your eyes back and forth while reprocessing past traumas so that they no longer impact your present day.

EMDR was created around the theory that bilateral stimulation puts your brain into a certain state that helps you access parts of your brain that store memory. When you experience trauma, memories become “stuck,” because it is too much for your brain to process at the moment. These memories are then activated by certain triggers that cause you to feel anxious, experience flashbacks, or cause you to act out of character.

When you move through the process of EMDR, these memories are processed in a way that “unsticks” them, so that they no longer cause a physical reaction when you reflect on them.

This is right for you if you are ready to do a deep dive into your trauma and want relatively quick results. EMDR can feel intense at the moment and cause temporary fatigue, but it has been shown to be highly effective in symptom reduction.

MBSR

Yes, therapists LOVE acronyms! Mindfulness-based stress reduction is a structured therapeutic process that focuses on helping you become more present and learn coping strategies for managing your symptoms.

Because trauma takes you out of the present and into a memory, MBSR focuses on helping you notice the present, recognize sensations in your body without judgment, and use coping skills, like breathing, to regulate your nervous system.

MBSR sessions are typically longer in length than your standard therapeutic hour, last about 8 weeks, and are often paired with some sort of retreat or intensive. This program is right for you if you want an immersive experience that will leave you with practiced skills for living mindfully.

Somatic Therapy

There are quite a few types of therapy for trauma that are centered on somatic healing. Somatic refers to the body, so this type of therapy appreciates the mind-body connection and how to heal both.

During somatic therapy, you will become aware of sensations in your body. You will recognize how your body responds to certain memories or thoughts and explore what the body is trying to tell you. With this knowledge, you will work to regulate your system through different techniques (like breathwork), process through movement and physical expression, and adjust how your body naturally responds to external stimuli.

This type of therapy is right for you if you want to take a holistic approach to trauma recovery.

TF-CBT

Trauma-focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is one of the most common types of therapy for trauma in adolescents and children. This structured approach to therapy encompasses education on trauma, coping skills to regulate your nervous system, creating a narrative about your trauma with the guidance of a therapist, cognitive restructuring (identifying and challenging thinking errors), gradual exposure to triggers, and creating resources for continued support.

TF-CBT often has psychotherapeutic components and homework to practice outside of the session. This type of therapy is right for you if you prefer a more structured and guided approach.

DBT

Last acronym of the blog! Dialectical Behavior Therapy is similar to CBT because it focuses on managing emotions and behaviors through the use of coping skills and challenging your thinking patterns. DBT also heavily focuses on relationships and how to improve the quality of your connections.

DBT is often used with individuals with complex trauma. Complex trauma can alter the way you perceive reality, can impact how safe you feel in relationships, and can reduce your ability to regulate your emotions.

A DBT therapist will help you learn mindfulness techniques to be more present, distress tolerance to better manage daily living, emotional regulation skills, and interpersonal effectiveness techniques.

DBT is right for you if you are wanting skills and techniques to improve your quality of life.

These five different therapeutic modalities are effective as stand-alone treatments, but can best be used in combination to individualize your therapeutic experience. I hope this helped you better understand the types of therapy for trauma recovery.

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CBT for Anxiety
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Categories: Anxiety

5 Somatic Therapy Exercises for Anxiety that will Change your Life

Anxiety. It takes over your body. It makes your heart race, makes your body feel hot, and makes you feel like you might throw up. So why does traditional therapy focus on only changing your thoughts? Somatic therapy exercises can treat anxiety on a physical level so that your body can feel back to normal.

As a mental health therapy and trauma yoga teacher, I am obsessed with learning about the mind-body connection and using it to help people recover from anxiety. This post is ALL ABOUT somatic therapy exercises for anxiety.

Resourcing

Resourcing is one of the first somatic therapy exercises that I use in the office, and it is something anyone can do from home! Resourcing is using positive memories, people, or beliefs as something that can bring you to a place of calm.

To build and strengthen a resource, you first start with identifying someone, something, or a memory that makes you feel safe. Imagine being with this person or in that memory. Notice how you feel in your body. Practice amplifying and sitting with that feeling for several minutes.

To strengthen it even more, practice thinking of something that makes you a little anxious, allow the anxiety to build, and then recall the resource and allow your body to calm back down.

By doing this practice, you will strengthen your ability to create a safe feeling in your body.

Somatic Grounding

As far as somatic therapy exercises go, grounding is probably the most used by therapists. Grounding is the practice of using what you are experiencing in your body to bring you back to the present.

Anxiety often comes from worrying about the future or reliving a past experience. Coming back to the present and recognizing that you aren’t in physical danger can help relieve anxiety symptoms.

To practice, start by becoming aware of your breath. Notice how it feels moving through your body. Then notice how the ground or chair feels underneath your body. Branch out to your other senses. Notice what you hear, smell, and feel on your skin.

Doing this practice frequently when you’re NOT anxious can help you access it more quickly when you ARE anxious.

Shaking

Have you ever noticed your body shaking after you’ve been startled or after you’ve calmed down from a stressful event? Shaking is a natural response when our body has been overloaded with adrenaline.

Whenever you have anxiety, your body pushes adrenaline through your system to give you energy. When you don’t use that energy, your body shakes to release it out of your system.

Instinctually, you might notice yourself trying to stop your body from shaking, however, this can cause a negative effect. Instead, intentionally shake and move your body so that the adrenaline can be released more quickly.

(Click here to get the book: Trauma Releasing Exercises)

Orienting

Orienting is another one of the somatic therapy exercises that happens naturally, but you can use it to your advantage to change your anxious patterns.

Orienting is when your body scans the environment and gets you prepared for what you will likely experience. Your mind is naturally primed to scan for threats in the environment. From an evolutionary perspective, this habit protects you from potential danger. However, in the present day, it may make you overreactive to certain stimuli.

For example, if you have a history of being bullied in your past, you may walk into a situation and orient yourself to potential threats of being bullied. Your mind might pick up on things that aren’t actually threatening in the moment, but can cause your body to begin to feel anxious anyways. This is all happening on a subconscious level.

To hijack this natural response in your favor, begin by intentionally scanning the environment for cues of safety. To use our example, scan the environment for proof that people are being friendly or neutral. When you intentionally shift these subconscious habits to scan for safety, your body will eventually learn to start doing this on its own and your anxiety won’t be activated.

Flesh out the Anxiety

“Fleshing it out” is one of the somatic therapy exercises adapted from Internal Family Systems therapy. This technique involves sitting with and spending time with your anxiety to better understand it.

To “flesh out” your anxiety, start by sitting in stillness and scanning your body for where anxiety or tension lies (for example in your stomach or throat). Once you notice where it lives, imagine what color it is. Notice if it has a certain texture to it. Imagine pulling the anxiety out of your body, as if it were a separate entity, and sitting it in front of you. What does it look like? How big is it?

Once you create this entity, you can ask it questions. Be curious and see what it has to tell you. See if it needs anything. This is a great way to better understand your anxiety and where it comes from.

These are some of my most used techniques in sessions that can easily be adapted for practicing at home. I hope this post was helpful in learning Somatic Therapy Exercises for Anxiety.

Here are some other posts you might like:

5 Most Important CBT for Anxiety Techniques
How Can I Calm My Anxiety Fast (3 Must-Have Tips)

Categories: Anxiety, Mental Health

Insomnia and Anxiety: 10 Tips to Finally Get Some Rest

There is nothing worse than feeling exhausted, laying down to go to bed, and having your mind race or your eyes wide open. Insomnia and anxiety often go hand-in-hand, Fortunately, there are things you can do to help!

As a mental health therapist, I’ve seen how creating certain patterns and making small adjustments can relieve people’s restless nights. This post is ALL ABOUT insomnia and anxiety.

Keep an Anxiety Journal

One of the biggest reasons you might struggle with insomnia and anxiety is that as soon as you lay down to rest, all of the anxious thoughts that you’ve been avoiding during the day come flooding back.

Your mind is wanting to process this information, whether or not you consciously want to. What could be helpful is, an hour or so before bed, sit down for a few minutes and journal all of the anxious thoughts that naturally come into your mind. This will allow these thoughts to be out of your head and onto paper before you lay down to sleep.

Click here for some journal prompts for anxiety!

Acknowledge and Release Thoughts

It’s important in anxiety recovery to explore and learn to work with your anxious thoughts. However, it doesn’t have to be right before bed! If your anxious thoughts come up at night, practice this mindfulness exercise to release them.

Start by acknowledging the thought that comes up. Then imagine placing the thought on a leaf and placing it in a stream, watching it float down the river. Repeat this until all of your thoughts are floating away.

You can also practice putting these thoughts in balloons and watching them float up into the sky.

Create Rhythmic Movement

In addition to your mind racing when you’re anxious, it also dysregulates your central nervous system. One way to regulate your nervous system and tell your body that it’s time to calm down is to move rhythmically.

Rhythmic movement could be anything from slow yoga (click here for yoga for anxiety), to a calm walk, to swaying back and forth, and even just rocking in a rocking chair. Try adding this for 5 to 10 minutes as part of your nighttime routine.

Be Aware of Light

Your body has a natural circadian rhythm, with certain cues that indicate when it’s waking time and when it’s sleeping time. Insomnia and anxiety can disrupt this rhythm, but one way to get it back on track is to be intentional with when you are getting sunlight.

Getting sunlight first thing in the morning (within the first hour of waking) tells your body when to start your internal clock. Similarly, shutting down lights about two hours before bed is just as important (click here for the full article).

Try sitting outside in the morning, going for a morning walk, or at least sitting by a window. If you live in a place that is dark in the early mornings, then try buying a UV light to simulate sunlight.

Pro-Tip: Light from phones, computers, and television have been shown to impact your brain’s ability to shut down for the night. Try and avoid these for an hour or two before bedtime.

Get Some Exercise

Regular exercise has been shown to reduce anxiety and depression symptoms, as well as improve nighttime sleep. Getting exercise can be tough when you are already physically exhausted. Try setting some realistic goals!

Exercise doesn’t have to be intense or rigorous. In fact, only moderate aerobic exercise has been linked to improved sleep. Try taking a daily walk, doing vinyasa yoga, or even an online dance routine, like this one, to help get in 20 minutes or so of exercise a day.

Progressive Relaxation

Progressive relaxation is great for insomnia and anxiety because it helps to release tension that you may be holding onto, as well as helps you focus on relaxing your body.

Progressive relaxation follows a series of muscle activation and release until you’ve covered most of your muscles from head to toe. Click here to receive a free Step-by-Step guide on progressive relaxation.

Create a Safety Mantra

Anxiety’s main purpose is to keep you safe when your body and brain believe that you are unsafe. However, lying in bed, it is likely that you are not in immediate danger. To calm your mind, prepare a mantra that you can say to yourself to remind yourself that you are safe.

This could be as simple as, “You are safe,” or it can speak specifically to your anxieties, “You are doing the best you can. It’s okay that you make mistakes sometimes.”

Imagine a Daydream

Have you ever gotten lost in a daydream? Daydreaming can be a fun way to express your creativity. While too much daydreaming CAN be an avoidance technique, it can be helpful when you’re needing to distract yourself from anxious thinking.

Remember, it’s important to have a separate outlet to explore and resolve your anxiety, or it may not go away completely.

To create a daydream, start by creating characters in your head and creating a story for them. These can be characters from movie scenes, people you know, or new characters. If you struggle with creating storylines, you can always play a familiar movie in your head. This can be a great habit to practice until you drift to sleep!

Shift your Nutrition

Nutrition is not necessarily the cure for insomnia and anxiety, but it can create a huge difference! Some foods directly impact your ability to sleep and remain calm.

Caffeine and sugar are two of the biggest culprits when it comes to poor sleep and anxiousness. Both of these can give you excess energy, simulating anxiety, as well as making it hard to fall asleep. Try and limit your caffeine and sugars to earlier in the day, as well as reduce your overall intake.

On the contrary, some foods can help! Getting plenty of omega-3s, tryptophan-containing foods, and micronutrients have shown to be helpful. Some examples of these foods are nuts and berries, fish, turkey, eggs, leafy greens, dark chocolate, and turmeric.

Create a Nighttime Routine

Routines are great for all kinds of mental health reasons. Specifically, when it comes to sleep, try to give yourself a routine for the last hour or so before bed. Your body will eventually begin to pick up on these cues and tell your brain to start shutting down.

Some examples of nighttime routines include journaling, taking a shower, reading in bed, listening to calming music, stretching, and/or massaging your hands or face.

These are some of the most helpful tips for insomnia and sleep that I’ve seen work with clients. What has helped improve your sleep? Comment below!

5 Powerful Rules for Anxiety about Anxiety

Anxiety about anxiety is a never-ending loop that can leave you feeling hopeless and in fear of the most basic daily living tasks. Fortunately, there are things you can do to start recovering!

As a mental health therapist, and a former anxious person, I know how it feels to live in fear of your own body, not knowing when anxiety could hit. This post is ALL ABOUT powerful rules for anxiety about anxiety.

What Makes Anxiety about Anxiety Different?

Typically, when people have anxiety, there is a precursor or trigger that activates the sequence. For example, someone has anxiety about driving, and as soon as they begin imagining themselves driving their brain sends alarm signals to the body, causing the body to react accordingly. This can also be true of certain thoughts or external stimuli that tell the brain to sound the alarms.

For this, anxiety treatment is simple. You first need to discover the trigger, then “defang” whatever the fear is. You would do this by using coping strategies to calm the body while engaging in the thing you are afraid of. For our example of driving, you would use breathing techniques, distraction techniques, or self-talk while driving. (Click here to see CBT Techniques for Anxiety). With enough corrective experiences, your brain eventually learns to stop sending the alarm signals for this specific trigger.

However, when your anxiety is centered around anxiety itself, it becomes more complicated. Using coping skills to stop the anxiety when it starts never really allows you to “defang” the sensations of anxiety, therein causing the never-ending loop.

Rule 1: See Anxiety with Gratitude

The first step to overcoming your anxiety about anxiety is to begin looking at anxiety in a different way. Oftentimes, people see anxiety as a sickness. They see it as having a broken brain that needs to be fixed. Realistically, everyone has (or should have) anxiety to some degree.

Anxiety is a natural response in the body to keep you safe from harm. When working well, it prompts you to take action in the face of danger, and it gives you the energy to follow through.

Imagine not having anxiety at all. If you are in a forest, and see a bear, you would have nothing telling your body to react quickly and run, and your brain wouldn’t send you the much-needed adrenaline.

In fact, according to Dr. Amen in his book You, Happier, people with a “Don’t Worry” attitude tend to die faster, because they lack the survival response.

So, when having an anxiety response, try to acknowledge that not only is this biological response trying to help, it is also necessary for survival.

Rule 2: Normalize Physical Sensations

A large part of being anxious about anxiety is dreading the physical symptoms. Being able to recognize the symptoms as a temporary discomfort is a big part of making anxiety less scary.

It’s important to recognize that the things that your body is doing MAKES SENSE if you were in a life-or-death situation. Your heart is racing, and your breathing is short in order to pump your blood, nutrients, and energy through your system faster. Your digestion is impacted because your body is trying to use up energy that you’ve already digested, as well as slow down parts of the digestive system that aren’t necessary in the moment (to save energy for the important things). Your blood may be redirected to the central part of your body, as it’s more necessary for survival, causing your legs and arms to feel tingly. Your frontal lobe (conscious decision-making) gets turned off so that your body is able to act from the more instinctual parts of the brain.

That is A LOT to be aware of. If you were actually running away from a bear, then you wouldn’t really notice all of this happening, because you would be using up the energy appropriately. When you aren’t in actual danger, this surge of energy feels really uncomfortable, and may make you want to either curl up or move around.

So, when these sensations are happening, remind yourself that it’s just the anxiety giving you extra energy, and though it’s uncomfortable, you aren’t in real danger.

Rule 3: Sit with Discomfort

This is the step that confuses people when it comes to recovering from anxiety about anxiety. Most people ask me, “but aren’t you SUPPOSED to use your coping skills?” Yes and no. If the goal is to make the sensations stop as quickly as possible, then coping skills might help. But if the goal is to break the bigger pattern, then you’ll need to learn how to feel comfortable with anxiety, at least for a little bit.

Remember, everyone SHOULD feel SOME anxiety throughout their day. If you are at a grocery store and someone starts getting heated with the cashier in front of you, it is normal for your body to start to activate, until it realizes there is not threat, at which point it will naturally calm back down. Same thing if you are in a room that starts to get overcrowded, your body may activate to allow you to scan for exits and create a safety plan, and then start to naturally calm back down once it feels more secure.

However, if you become anxious about these normal anxiety sensations and experiences, it will cause the anxiety to start looping, instead of responding normally and calming down naturally.

To start, practice by sitting with the sensations for 30 seconds before using a coping skill. Once that feels better, level up to a minute, then two. Keep going until the anxious sensations begin to subside on their own.

Rule 4: Talk to Yourself

Self-talk is a tried-and-true method for helping with anxiety, and it’s important to create statements that are specific to what you are trying to achieve.

To make anxiety go away faster, you will typically say statements like, “I am safe,” or “this will pass.” For recovering from fear of anxiety, you might want to also try things like, “my body is reacting to a trigger,” and “these sensations are normal.”

Ultimately, you’ll want the conversation to be two-sided, meaning ask your brain what it is scared of. This may seem silly, but oftentimes if you are sitting with the discomfort and trying to explore, your brain will give you answers.

Maybe there is a real threat, like you feel a friend distancing themselves or someone is crossing a boundary. At this point, you don’t want to dismiss what your body is trying to tell you. If there is a real threat and you tell yourself, “It’s okay,” it’s kind of like gaslighting yourself. Instead, recognize the threat and make an action plan to create safety (i.e. talking to the friend or speaking up for yourself).

Rule 5: Know your Limits

Challenging anxiety is hard work. Being anxious already takes up a lot of your energy, causing inflammation and fatigue. Challenging the anxiety takes even more energy. It’s important to acknowledge that you may not always have energy to challenge yourself, and that’s okay. You can always take a break, use coping skills or distraction techniques, or any of the other things that you use to manage anxiety.

Be kind to yourself through the process. Recovery isn’t linear. With enough corrective experiences, you will eventually be able to embrace normal anxiety throughout the day and stop the endless loop.

If you’d like to speak to a therapist to explore further, click here to being the search.

These are the 5 rules to recovering from anxiety about anxiety. What are your thoughts? Leave a comment below!

How to Deal with Social Anxiety (5 Must-Have Communication Tips)

Social anxiety can be so debilitating that it can limit you from social experiences, from making new connections, and can even hold you back in your career. This frustration often leads people wondering how to deal with social anxiety.

One of the toughest parts about social anxiety is knowing how to communicate. As a mental health therapist, and someone who has recovered from social anxiety, I’m an expert at communication strategies for social anxiety. This is post is ALL ABOUT how to deal with social anxiety and communication.

(Click here to read more about social anxiety disorder treatment)

Communication Tip #1- Take a Breath

When activated, social anxiety can make your body believe that it’s being threatened, causing your fight-or-flight response to engage. This can leave your heart racing, your thoughts scattered, and your breath shortened. Trying to talk with all of that going on? You’ll likely find yourself stuttering, saying things you don’t mean, or losing words.

Practice taking a big breath or two before speaking. Deep breathing, especially with a long breath out, can help calm down your system and slow down your heart rate. This will allow you to pause and think before speaking and give you a greater opportunity to communicate effectively.

If you’re nervous that people will think you’re strange for taking a breath before talking, don’t worry! It’s normal for people to fill up their lungs before speaking, so people will likely not notice!

Communication Tip #2- Prepare Yourself

Another communication tip on how to deal with social anxiety is to prepare yourself in advance. Social anxiety can make your mind go blank as soon as you’re prepared to talk, which can leave you looking like you don’t know what you’re talking about, even if you are an expert on the topic!

The more you practice scripts and communication topics in advance, the more likely your brain will be able to access this information, even in panic mode.

Do some research on what kind of people you will be interacting with and give yourself some topics in advance. Work event? Research some recent work-related news to bring up. Meetup with a new friend? Try and remember some things that they like and find relevant information to discuss.

Having scripts and prepared topics can feel awkward, but it is good practice until you get more used to engaging in conversation.

Communication Tip #3- Talk to Yourself

No, not out loud! BUT it can be helpful to give yourself pep talks or calming statements whenever you are anxious. Most people with social anxiety struggle with the extreme fear of judgement or rejection, often creating stories that make that reality seem true. For example, “Everyone’s thinks I’m weird,” or “They seem upset, I must have said something wrong.”

These types of statements are not only likely false, but they exacerbate your anxiety, making the situation worse. Try telling yourself opposite statements like, “Nobody is noticing me acting weird,” or “Their facial expressions probably have nothing to do with me.” While we don’t know if this is 100% true, it is probably true and also less anxiety producing to lead with these thoughts.

For more tips, watch this video on how to get out of your head in social situations.

Communication Tip #4- Ask Questions

This is not only important when working on how to deal with social anxiety but is a great tip for anyone in conversation. Most people like to feel like you’re interested in them and what they have to say. It makes people feel good when you are curious about them, and similarly can turn people off if all you talk about is yourself.

Take the pressure off of your anxiety and need to make a good impression by simply asking questions. Asking questions helps you get the know the person better and identify if there are any common areas of interest that you can communicate about.

Pro Tip: Ask open-ended questions that will encourage a longer answer. Instead of “Are you from this part of town?” Ask, “Where did you grow up?” This will open up opportunity for deeper conversation and follow-up questions. I have found that “What” and “How” questions work best.

Communication Tip #5- Have an Exit Strategy

Anxiety is constantly trying to get you to find a way to escape and get to safety. Having a plan in advance, even if you don’t use it, can help alleviate anxiety in the moment.

If you’ve ever felt anxious and overwhelmed in a social situation, trying to fight it can make it worse and you may end up doing something embarrassing just to get out. If you need to take a break, use your exit strategy to get some space and calm your system down.

Some examples of an exit strategy are:

“I’m so sorry, I got a text and need to call this person back really quick.”
“I’ll be right back, I realized I left something in my car.”
“I’m going to go grab a drink of water.”

Think of what would make sense in whatever situation you’re in and come up with something in advance. It may still come out awkward, but it can give you some relief knowing that you have it as a safety net.

I hope these communication tips were helping in knowing how to deal with social anxiety! Leave your comments below on your favorite social anxiety communication tips!

Other posts you may like:
7 Tips you Need for Social Anxiety Treatment
3 Steps to Overcome your Fear to Leave the House

Categories: Anxiety, Mental Health

5 Most Important CBT for Anxiety Techniques

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, or CBT, is one of the most common types of therapy since its development in the 1960’s. CBT for anxiety has been proven to help reduce symptoms and help people get to a more comfortable living.

As a mental health therapist, I love giving people CBT techniques to practice outside of the office, because I know that they work! This post is ALL ABOUT CBT for Anxiety.

CBT Technique: Relaxed Breathing

As cliche as it sounds, breathing techniques are the NUMBER ONE thing I teach people to manage anxiety. Your breath is directly tied to your anxiety (and other emotions). Have you noticed how your breathing changes based on how you feel? When people are anxious, their breathing tends to get shorter and faster, speeding up their heartrate and activating the sympathetic nervous system.

In short, the sympathetic nervous system is what creates the uncomfortable sensations in your body when you feel threatened by something, like heart racing, shortness of breath, digestive issues, and shaking. Click here for a more descriptive blog on anxiety.

These sensations are natural and helpful when you are actually threatened and needing the extra adrenaline, like if you were needing to run away from a bear. However, that is not usually the case when we’re feeling anxious. In order to let your brain know that it doesn’t need to be anxious, you need to start by slowing down your breathing, which activates the parasympathetic nervous system, calming your body down.

You might have heard many different ways to breathe for anxiety, such as square breathing or the 4-6-8 method, but the ONLY thing that is important for calm breathing to work is to let your OUT breath be longer than your IN breath. So, take a big breath in and let it out as slow as possible. Practice this every day for about 10 minutes a day, so that when you are anxious, it is already something you are familiar with doing.

CBT Technique: Journaling

Journaling is another CBT for anxiety tool. Journaling has many benefits, like self-awareness, exploration, and shifting perspective. For anxiety, the main goal of journaling is to identify thinking patterns and triggers.

Every time your body is anxious, it has been activated by a trigger that made your brain believe you were in danger. This may be obvious, like giving a presentation, or not so obvious, like the fear of being out of control.

Every time you feel anxious, write down the experience in your journal. See if you are able to identify the trigger(s), as well as any thoughts that are associated with the trigger. If you aren’t able to figure out the trigger, still write it down. You might be able to notice patterns later, or even bring it to therapy to see if you can figure it out with your therapist.

Click here for journaling prompts for anxiety.

CBT Technique: Playing the Script

Playing the script is a CBT technique that asks you to start with the anxious thought and then imagine the story playing out like a movie. Typically, once you get the end of the script, you will realize that even though you will be uncomfortable, you will survive.

For example, your anxious thought might be, “What if I get anxious and throw up?” Ok, what if that happens? Then what? Then you will probably feel embarrassed, have to clean up the throw up, then go home and drink water. Worst case scenario, you survive the scenario, just a little embarrassed.

Another example could be, “What if I have a panic attack?” Playing the script out, you will feel really uncomfortable, likely have to sit down somewhere and wait for it to pass or ask someone for help. Afterwards, you can go back home and relax.

The worst-case scenario is not the most likely thing to happen. Most likely, the thing you’re scared of won’t happen at all, but it can ease your anxiety to know that, even if it does, you will survive.

CBT Technique: Cognitive Restructuring

Cognitive Restructuring is a multi-step process that can be used to explore whatever situation is making you anxious. The first thing you do is recognize the situation that is making you anxious. Next you explore the feelings that you are having. If you are practicing cognitive restructuring for anxiety, then you will probably recognize the anxious feeling first, but sometimes you will have accompanying feelings that could also be helpful to explore.

If you’re having the feeling of anxiety, the next step is to explore the thoughts around the anxiety. Ask yourself, “What am I afraid of?” You’ll want to explore any cognitive distortions, or thoughts that may not be in alignment with reality, so that there is room to challenge them. Click here for a list of cognitive distortions.

Once you recognize your thinking around the emotion, as well as your cognitive distortions, you can evaluate the thought further. Ask yourself how accurate the thought it, and if there are any other ways of looking at the situation.

After you’ve explored the situation, feelings, and thoughts fully, you then make a decision based on the logical thinking, not on the emotions alone. Oftentimes, you will come to discover that even though you feel anxious, you are actually safe, and you can make the decision do the scary thing anyways.

Click here for a more descriptive Cognitive Restructuring handout.

CBT Technique: Exposure and Response Prevention

Exposure and Response Prevention is very similar to Exposure Therapy, where the goal is to face your fears and slowly desensitize yourself to them. In CBT, the goal is to intentionally move toward the thought or action that triggers your anxiety, and then choose not to engage in a compulsive action.

For example, if you normally feel anxious when you are grocery shopping, the compulsive action might be to leave the store (or avoid going shopping at all). With exposure and response prevention, you would choose to go to the grocery store, but instead of leaving when you get anxious, you choose to do something else, like self-talk or breathing techniques, and continue shopping.

Why would anyone choose to feel anxious? Because eventually, your brain will begin to recognize that there is no threat and you will slowly start to feel less anxious.

An important thing to note when practicing exposure and response prevention is that you will feel uncomfortable and a temporary increase in anxiety. Just remind yourself that anxiety is just sensations in the body, and you are safe. The more you fight the anxiety, the stronger it will become, but the more you accept and keep going, it will begin to go away on its own. Click here to understand better ways to work with anxiety.

Begin CBT for Anxiety Today!

Choose any of these techniques to begin practicing today. If you feel like you’d like a guide, look for a therapist near you to help.

I hope this post was helpful in better understanding the best CBT for Anxiety techniques! What are your favorite techniques? Comment below!

Post you may like:

How Can I Calm my Anxiety Fast?
7 Tips you Need for Social Anxiety Disorder

Categories: Anxiety, Mental Health

7 Tips you Need for Social Anxiety Disorder Treatment

You’ve been invited to go out with your friends, you want to see them, but the thought of being in a crowd makes your stomach hurt, your body shake, and your heart race. Social Anxiety Disorder treatment is possible and easier than you might think!

As a mental health therapist, and a person who has recovered from social anxiety disorder, I know first-hand what it feels like to struggle with social anxiety, and what it takes to get better! This post is ALL ABOUT social anxiety disorder treatment.

What Causes Social Anxiety Disorder?

(Already understand the cause? Scroll down for tips!)

While there isn’t a singular cause, there are a lot of common experiences that can create social anxiety disorder, also known as social phobia.

First, it’s important to know that social anxiety disorder is not the same as being shy, being introverted, or having a dislike toward people. Social anxiety disorder centers around the extreme fear of embarrassment, being judged, and ultimately being rejected.

Humans in general have a biological need to be accepted and connected. As a herd species, we have historically existed in groups, improving our survival and increasing our attachment to others. Being rejected from the group feels so painful because biologically, it is in our best interest to be accepted.

Of course, over time, people have found ways to become self-aware and increase independence, but that doesn’t change how we are hard-wired.

People that experience a strong fear of rejection or embarrassment are tapping into this natural response, except it is acting in overdrive, telling you that rejection and embarrassment are life-threatening and far more dangerous than they probably are.

If you experience this, you’ve likely experienced strong rejection or perceived rejection early in life. Maybe you have had multiple experiences, or messages, that you are not acceptable as you are or that people will be harmful toward you in social settings. For some, it only takes one major experience to activate their social anxiety disorder.

Just like any phobia, your body activates your fight or flight response when exposed to the trigger, giving you adrenaline for energy, making your heart race, slowing down your digestive system, and creating all sorts of uncomfortable experiences that are encouraging you to avoid the perceived threat.

Tip #1- Identify your Triggers

So, you know you have social phobia, now what? The first tip for social anxiety treatment would be to identify your triggers. It can look different for everyone! For me, I was able to maintain a job as a waitress, but I couldn’t sing the “Happy Birthday” song that was required on a guest’s special day. I could go to class and talk to my lab partner, but I couldn’t make a doctor’s appointment or give presentations.

It’s unclear what causes some things to seem safe for the brain and other things seem terrifying, but it’s helpful to know what you’re working with. Write down every time your social anxiety is activated, see if you can explore patterns or beliefs around the triggers to better understand your anxiety.

Tip #2- Old Reliable CBT

Using tools from one of the most common forms of therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), is the second tip for social anxiety disorder treatment. CBT asks you to explore your thinking patterns around the emotion and adjust them to help shift the way you feel and experience reality.

Of course, it’s not as easy as just telling yourself not to be scared (I wish!), but it helps to notice what you’re thinking and work to challenge thinking errors. An example of a thinking error might be, “I’m going to embarrass myself and everyone will make fun of me.” This is a form of future-telling, and likely not true. Instead shift to, “I might do something embarrassing, but people probably won’t even notice or care.” You’ll want to change the thought to something that feels right for you.

It’s important to recognize that you can’t predict the future, or read minds, so it could be false to say “People aren’t going to judge me” because we don’t know that. Focus on using “maybes” and “coulds” instead of definitive statements. For example, “Maybe people will judge me, but I don’t have to let that control me.”

What thoughts surround your social anxiety? How might you change them to feel more comfortable?

Tip #3- Then What?

Another skill used often in therapy is playing out the narrative. Think of your worst-case scenario, and ask yourself, “Then what?”

I get to the party, and I don’t know anyone. Then what? I look around for someone I know, but don’t find anyone. Then what? I go stand in the corner and look stupid. Then what? Maybe, a stranger talks to me and I stumble over my words. Then what? Then I have to leave, and I feel bad that I messed up. Then what? Well, then I guess I go home. Then what?

You get the point. Typically, when you walk yourself through the narrative, you’ll find that it’s not so bad. It may be embarrassing and not feel great, but ultimately, you survive the scenario. Remember, social anxiety is telling you that these scenarios are life and death, so helping your anxiety see that you’ll survive the worst-case scenario can be helpful in calming it down.

Tip #4- Calm your Body

Anxiety at the core is a physical condition. The majority of the time, people with social anxiety disorder are aware that there is nothing to worry about, but their body responds anyways. This can make social anxiety worse because some of the symptoms of your anxiety (sweating, forgetfulness, fuzzy thoughts) can create the embarrassing experience you were trying to avoid.

One of the best ways to manage anxiety is through breathwork. Breath is directly linked to the heart, which is directly linked to the bloodstream, which is working to get all of the extra energy chemicals through your system. Slowing down your breathing helps to slow down the heart and let’s your body know to go into a more relaxed state.

Deep breathing works best when you allow your “out-breath” to be longer than your “in-breath.” (Click here to better understand anxiety in the body). Try taking a big breath in, and then as slow as possible, release the air back out. Keep doing this throughout the experience to decrease your physical anxiety.

Note: Some people start to feel like headed when deep breathing. If this happens, allow yourself to go back to a more natural breath for a few rounds, then go back into deep breathing. (Click here to listen to a meditation on calming the mind)

Tip #5- Practice, Practice, Practice

After you have explored your thinking patterns and practiced your breathing techniques, you are all geared up to start practicing! Anxiety is created and reduced by lived experience, meaning, the only way to get over a fear, is to face it.

Exposure therapy is a type of therapy that aims to slowly desensitize you to your fear. Think of it like getting ready for a big game. You don’t start by jumping onto the field, you start by slowly conditioning your body and mind to prepare for the big moment.

For social anxiety disorder treatment, a first step might look like imagining yourself making that phone call, role-playing it with a friend (or an empty chair), or writing out a script. Step two might look like making a phone call that is less threatening, like placing a to-go order, or raising your hand and answering one question in class. As each step feels easier, you want to “level-up” until your reach your goal.

Tip #6- Acceptance

Another important tip for social anxiety disorder treatment is the idea of acceptance. In Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), you are encouraged to accept certain things that are out of your control, and then make choices that align with your values anyways.

For social anxiety disorder, this could look like accepting that your body will start shaking or sweating on your way to a social gathering, but choosing to put yourself in the situation anyways to work toward you goal of overcoming this disorder. It might look like accepting that people tend to be judgmental, but putting yourself in that risky situation, knowing you are doing what you believe in.

As you practice challenging your anxiety, accept that it will feel uncomfortable. You likely will mess up sometimes, your anxiety will kick in, and you won’t always have a successful experience. AND that’s okay. It doesn’t take away from the process and what you are trying to accomplish.

Tip #7- Take a Pause

The final tip for social anxiety disorder treatment is to take a pause. Oftentimes, anxiety will make things feel more urgent than they are. Rushing through a situation, trying to get words out quickly, or leaving an awkward conversation as soon as possible can make things go from bad to worse.

Try to take a pause and a breath before speaking or taking an action. It will slow you down and give you time to think. You might think, “But won’t that seem weird.” Not really. People will likely not even notice, because breathing is a very natural thing to do!

Remember no one is thinking about you as much as you’re thinking about you. If you feel yourself getting nervous, pause, take a breath, and keep going.

These are the seven tips that I used to help heal my social anxiety disorder. If you’d like to better understand trauma, or where anxiety comes from, watch this video on trauma!

I hope this was helpful in better understanding social anxiety disorder treatment! How do you manage your social anxiety disorder? Comment below!

What is Trauma Informed Yoga? (4 Things you Need to Know)

Trauma informed yoga. You’ve heard about it. Maybe you’ve even been told that you should try it. But what exactly is it, and how is it different from regular yoga?

As a certified trauma informed yoga teacher, and therapist who specializes in trauma, I have seen how trauma informed yoga can begin to heal people in ways that therapy or other forms of trauma treatment may not be able to access. This post is ALL ABOUT the benefits of trauma informed yoga.

How does Trauma Informed Yoga Help?

If you’ve experienced trauma, you’re likely experiencing some lasting effects, like anxiety, tension, hypervigilance or discomfort with being in your body.

Most trauma therapy focuses on the cognitive pieces of trauma, helping you to re-tell your story and process the memories and beliefs associated with the trauma.

Trauma informed yoga, however, can help treat the physical elements of trauma. When someone experiences trauma, their body often goes into a protective response, creating tension in the body, adjusting breathing patterns, and changing the way the body uses energy. Over time, these responses can be detrimental to the body, causing fatigue, digestive issues, weakening the immune system, and chronic pain. (Click here to read more about how anxiety works in the body.)

These symptoms can be treated or alleviated with the physical practice of trauma informed yoga, which centers on breathwork, movement, and choice.

Breath and Movement

If you’ve experienced trauma or have chronic anxiety, you’ve probably noticed changes in the way you breathe. Maybe your breathing is shorter, it’s difficult to take a deep breath, or you feel like your breath is out of sync with your body.

Our breath and heartrate are directly linked. If your heart rate goes up due to movement or exercise, your breath will quicken, and as you rest, your heart rate and breath will go down. However, for people who have experienced trauma, this natural heart rate variability (HRV) can get out of sync. This would make sense of the sensations that you might be experiencing when trying to regulate your own breath.

Trauma informed yoga focus on matching breath and movement. Breathe in, raise your arms up. Breathe out, melt your arms back down. Matching breath and movement repetitively can help regulate your HRV, allowing you to have more control of your body. (Click here for a video on Breath and Movement.)

Creating Choice

Another important aspect of any trauma treatment is choice. Whenever you experience a traumatic event, you lose an element of control or power. Learning your power, what’s in your control, and making choices are helpful toward overcoming the past experience.

In trauma informed yoga, there are lots of choices! Maybe the choice is to rest when you’re feeling tired, maybe the choice is moving your body into a more comfortable position, or maybe the choice is to try a more complex pose. Being allowed these options in your body is important, because it help you to consider how often you have power and control over your own body, creating connection and safety within yourself.

A trauma informed yoga teacher will use different language than you might find in a standard yoga class. Language should be more inviting and choice-centered. For example, “You might notice how your body feels in this pose when you lean further to the right,” or “Maybe you place your foot on the ground, maybe you lift it in front of you.”

Creating a Safe Space

Additionally, with trauma, there is typically a loss of safety. Even living in your own body can seem unsafe, with unpredictable anxiety and feeling a loss of control. In trauma informed yoga, there will be an intention to create a safe space. The teacher will be mindful to reduce potential triggers, such as not having music or covering up any mirrors.

Another way that trauma informed yoga differs from standard yoga is with physical touch or assists. In trauma informed yoga, there will not be physical touch, as this could activate someone’s trauma triggers. Instead, the yoga teacher might offer verbal cues to allow you to adjust to a safer position.

Releasing Stored Trauma

Lastly, there could be benefit in releasing stored trauma or tension in the body. In trauma informed yoga, there is a focus on increased awareness of body sensations and awareness of where you might be holding tension. Once you identify where tension is being stored, certain poses and movements can work to release the tension. (Click here for a video on Releasing the Psoas)

When you release trapped trauma, you might experience an emotional release, some recurring of memories, or strong discomfort. This is all normal. Knowing that you are in a safe space and that the discomfort will pass is all part of trauma processing. Allow yourself to make a choice in that moment to rest and wait, to move through the sensations, or to actively calm your system down.

Trauma Informed Yoga Resources

Trauma informed yoga is accessible via YouTube, in-person sessions, or self-paced through the use of books. Below are some resources to explore:
What is Trauma Informed Yoga Video
Overcoming Trauma Through Yoga Book
Therapeutic Yoga for Trauma Recovery
Trauma Informed Yoga Video

I hope this post helped you in better understanding what is trauma informed yoga! What type of yoga helps your trauma the most? Comment below!

39 Living with Anxiety Quotes You’ll Love

Have you ever experienced the feeling of anxiety so intensely that you wonder if anyone else has ever felt that way? Living with anxiety quotes are a great way for those of us with anxiety to know that we are not alone in our struggle.

As a mental health therapist, and an anxious person, I love to find quotes about anxiety that I can connect with, that can motivate me, and that I can share to express my experiences. This post is ALL ABOUT living with anxiety quotes.

Relatable Living with Anxiety Quotes

1. “I’ve spent most of my life and most of my friendships holding my breath and hoping that when people get close enough, they won’t leave and fearing that it’s a matter of time before they figure me out and go.”
— Shauna Niequist

2. “Anxiety is love’s greatest killer. It makes others feel as you might when a drowning man holds on to you. You want to save him, but you know he will strangle you with his panic.”
— Anais Nin

3. “Our anxiety does not come from thinking about the future, but from wanting to control it.”
— Kahlil Gibran

4. “I lied and said I was busy. I was busy; but not in a way most people understand. I was busy taking deeper breaths. I was busy silencing irrational thoughts. I was busy calming a racing heart. I was busy telling myself I am okay. Sometimes, this is my busy -and I will not apologize for it.”
— Brittin Oakman

5. “But I can hardly sit still. I keep fidgeting, crossing one leg and then the other. I feel like I could throw off sparks or break a window–maybe rearrange all the furniture.”
— Raymond Carver

6. “Chronic anxiety is a state more undesirable than any other, and we will try almost any maneuver to eliminate it. Modern man is living in anxious anticipation of destruction. Such anxiety can be easily eliminated by self-destruction. As a German saying puts it: ‘Better an end with terror than a terror without end.”
–Robert E. Neale

7. “I do not sleep because I am not only afraid of the monsters at my door, but also of the monsters my own mind can conjure. The ones that live within.”
— Samantha Shannon

8. “Mom says where did anxiety come from? Anxiety is the cousin visiting from out of town, depression felt obliged to bring to the party. Mom, I am the party. Only, I am a party I don’t want to be at.”
–Sabrina Benaim

9. “I wake up scared and I’m scared all day. I’m scared of being scared. Scared of “losing it”. Scared of not being able to function. Scared of being hospitalized. Scared that I am not okay. Scared of what life is and if I am wasting mine. Scared that I have no home – that even the place I call home has no bottom to it and I will just keep falling under and under and under.”
— Melissa Broder

10. Creative people, as I see them, are distinguished by the fact that they can live with anxiety, even though a high price may be paid in terms of insecurity, sensitivity, and defenselessness for the gift of the “divine madness,” to borrow the term used by the classical Greeks. They do not run away from non-being, but by encountering and wrestling with it, force it to produce being. They knock on silence for an answering music; they pursue meaninglessness until they can force it to mean.”
— Rollo May

11. “By masking my mental illness, I get along with almost everyone. Although the odd duck, I honor society’s rules. No one else could imagine my mind’s interior.”
— Larry Godwin

12. “Temperamentally anxious people can have a hard time staying motivated, period, because their intense focus on their worries distracts them from their goals.”
— Winifred Gallagher

13. “What doesn’t kill you very often makes you weaker. What doesn’t kill you can leave you limping for the rest of your days. What doesn’t kill you can make you scared to leave your house, or even your bedroom, and have you trembling, or mumbling incoherently, or leaning with your head on a windowpane, wishing you could return to the time before the thing that didn’t kill you.”
— Matt Haig

14. “Man is not worried by real problems so much as by his imagined anxieties about real problems”
— Epictetus

Motivating Living with Anxiety Quotes

15. “To venture causes anxiety, but not to venture is to lose oneself…. And to venture in the highest is precisely to be conscious of oneself.”
— Søren Kierkegaard

16. “Don’t worry if people think you’re crazy. You are crazy. You have that kind of intoxicating insanity that lets other people dream outside of the lines and become who they’re destined to be.”
— Jennifer Elisabeth

17. “It’s OKAY to be scared. Being scared means you’re about to do something really, really brave.”
— Mandy Hale

18. “Fear and anxiety many times indicates that we are moving in a positive direction, out of the safe confines of our comfort zone, and in the direction of our true purpose.”
— Charles F. Glassman,

19. “They say, ‘Look before you leap.’ So look. But do not look for too long. Do not look into the void of uncertainty trying to predict each and every possible outcome, to evaluate every possible mistake, to prevent each possible failure. Look for the opportunity to leap, and leap faster than your fear can grab you. Leap before you talk yourself out of it, before you convince yourself to set up a temporary camp that turns into a permanent delay on your journey into your own heart.”
— Vironika Tugaleva

20. “He who is not every day conquering some fear has not learned the secret of life.”
— Shannon L. Alder

21. “I’ve been absolutely terrified every moment of my life and I’ve never let it keep me from a single thing that I wanted to do.:
— Georgia O’keefe

22. “The only reason I can’t jump in and engage life is that I’ve told myself I can’t. Yet I can’t help wondering would happen if I told myself I could?”
— Craig D. Lounsbrough

23. “Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.”
— Dale Carnegie

24. “The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.”
— Nelson Mandela

25. “ “People wish to be settled; only as far as they are unsettled is there any hope for them.”
— Ralph Waldo Emerson

26. “You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ You must do the thing you think you cannot do.”
— Eleanor Roosevelt

Helpful Living with Anxiety Quotes

27. “When I feel threatened, vulnerable, or insecure, whether it from simply walking into a room of unknown people, meeting someone for the first time, an unexpected or expected confrontation, or doing something new, I affirm in my mind (over and over): There is no danger, there is no threat. From there, the discomfort lessens, and I become open for discovery and adventure.”
— Charles F. Glassman

28. “Our anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows, but only empties today of its strengths.”
— C.H. Spurgeon

29. “Anxiety’s like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it doesn’t get you very far.”
–Jodi Picoult

30. “Worry often gives a small thing a big shadow.”
— Swedish proverb

31. “I promise you nothing is as chaotic as it seems. Nothing is worth diminishing your health. Nothing is worth poisoning yourself into stress, anxiety, and fear.”
— Steve Maraboli

32. “I’ve learned that it helps to talk about [anxiety]. Unfortunately, I think most people would still get more sympathy from their colleagues and bosses at work if they show up looking rough one morning and say ‘I’m hungover’ than if they say, ‘I’m suffering from anxiety.’ But I think we pass people in the street every day who feel the same as you and I, many of them just don’t know what it is. Men and women going around for months having trouble breathing and seeing doctor after doctor because they think there’s something wrong with their lungs. All because it’s so damn difficult to admit that something else is…broken. That it’s an ache in our soul, invisible lead weights in our blood, an indescribable pressure in our chest. Our brains are lying to us, telling us we’re going to die. But there’s nothing wrong with our lungs.”
— Fredrik Backman,

33. “What worries you masters you.”
— John Locke

34. “Curiosity and passion are the enemies of anxiety. Even when I fell into anxiety, if I get curious enough about something outside of me it can help pull me out. Music, art, film, nature, conversation, words. Find passion as large as your fear. The way out of your mind is via the world.”
— Matt Haig

35. “It is not depression or anxiety that truly hurts us. It is our active resistance against these states of mind and body. If you wake up with low energy, hopeless thoughts, and a lack of motivation – that is a signal from you to you. That is a sure sign that something in your mind or in your life is making you sick, and you must attend to that signal. But what do most people do? They hate their depressed feelings. They think “Why me?” They push them down. They take a pill. And so, the feelings return again and again, knocking at your door with a message while you turn up all the noise in your cave, refusing to hear the knocks. Madness. Open the door. Invite in depression. Invite anxiety. Invite self-hatred. Invite shame. Hear their message. Give them a hug. Accept their tirades as exaggerated mistruths typical of any upset person. Love your darkness and you shall know your light.”

— Vironika Tugaleva

36. “Don’t be afraid of being scared. To be afraid is a sign of common sense. Only complete idiots are not afraid of anything.”
— Carlos Ruiz Zafón

37. “You only feel powerless because your fear has given your power to the object of your fear. Once you realise this, you can claim it back.”
— Kamand Kojouri

38. “Fear keeps us focused on the past or worried about the future. If we can acknowledge our fear, we can realize that right now we are okay. Right now, today, we are still alive, and our bodies are working marvelously. Our eyes can still see the beautiful sky. Our ears can still hear the voices of our loved ones.”
–Thich Nhat Hanh

39. “Anxiety was born in the very same moment as mankind. And since we will never be able to master it, we will have to learn to live with it—just as we have learned to live with storms.”
— Paulo Coelho

I hope you enjoyed these living with anxiety quotes! Are there any quotes that I missed? Comment below!

3 Steps to Overcome your Fear to Leave the House

Fear to leave the house can be debilitating and isolating. When you feel like it’s unsafe to leave your home, you may start to feel hopeless, trapped in your own body, and you might start thinking, “What is wrong with me?”

As a mental health therapist, I have worked with tons of people who struggle with agoraphobia, or the fear of being in places where it’s difficult to escape or where they won’t find help. Fortunately, with any anxiety disorder or phobia, there is a way to overcome it! This post is ALL ABOUT fear to leave the house.

What Causes a Fear to Leave the House?

The most common reason someone might have a fear to leave the house is due to agoraphobia. People that struggle with agoraphobia typically feel unsafe in most environments that are not their home (or another familiar place).

Oftentimes, this fear is caused by the experience of panic attacks. If you’ve experienced the terror of a panic attack, you are likely nervous about it happening again. Because panic attacks can seem unpredictable, the idea of having one in public, where you might not be able to escape, could be terrifying.

Even if you’ve never experienced panic attacks, or don’t experience agoraphobia, you may still have a fear to leave the house. This is likely due to a traumatic experience where you learned that leaving the house is unsafe, such as an assault, catching a life-threatening illness, or even watching television that displays the outside world as being unsafe or violent.

How do I get Better?

Overcoming a fear to leave the house is both simple and difficult. It’s simple in the steps that you take, but difficult in the reality that you will feel strong discomfort. Whenever your brain believes that leaving the house is a threat, it will start to send alarm signals to the body, trying to prevent you from walking out the front door. These alarm signals may be both physical, like your heart racing or your legs feeling numb, and cognitive, like an inner voicing telling you that bad things are going to happen. Even if you do push past this and leave the house, your brain will send your body signals to try and return back home.

Instead of flooding your system with anxiety by taking a “just do it” approach, try taking small steps toward your goal. Anxiety is worsened and reduced by experiences that you have. If you try and challenge the anxiety, and then have a terrible experience, your brain will log that away as more “proof” to not leave the home. Similarly, the more you stay home and don’t experience threats, the more your brain will have “proof” that the home is the safest place to be. So compromise by staying within your window of tolerance when challenging your fear. Think Goldilocks, not too intense, not too comfortable, but JUST RIGHT!

Step 1: Resourcing to Feel Safe

The first step when challenging any anxiety or phobia is to create a safety net for yourself. If you are going to push past your comfort zone, you’ll want to trust that you have the tools or resources to pull yourself back.

Find your Helpers

Resourcing doesn’t have to just come from within. People are biologically wired to feel better when with a safe person or safe people. Studies have indicated that holding someone’s hand can reduce the experience of pain, and hugging can increase feel-good chemicals in our bodies.

Even without physical touch, the presence of a safe person when challenging anxiety can help us know that we have help if something, like a panic attack, were to happen.

Lastly, it can be helpful to scan for helpers outside of your circle. If you have the belief that the outside world is dangerous, or people are harmful, look around for proof of the opposite. When someone falls down, typically you will notice people running to help. When someone’s car gets stuck in the mud, you will often see people jumping to that person’s aid. The more that you pay attention to the helpers in the world, the more you will begin to feel safe, even among strangers.

Calm your Body

Anxiety is predominantly physical. Your heart races; you feel tension in your muscles; your stomach hurts. Learning how to effectively calm your body can give you power in knowing that even if you are to feel anxious in public, you can find a way to calm back down. Deep breathing, rhythmic movement, and extreme temperatures are just a few ways to calm anxiety. (Click here to learn 3 Best Ways to Calm Anxiety FAST).

Increase your Personal Power

The more powerful you feel, the less likely your brain will think you’re in danger. Discover what areas you feel less powerful in, whether it’s physical, emotional, or even intellectual, and increase your power there.

To increase your physical power, you may start to lift weights or watch online self defense videos. To increase your intellectual power, you may start to read books or educate yourself on things, such as statistics of crime in the area or on understanding anxiety in the body. Whichever areas you are trying to feel more powerful in, there are a lot of resources to help you get there.

Step 2: Cognitive Challenging

Identifying and challenging thinking errors is a big step in overcoming phobias. A big mistake people make when trying to challenge their fear to leave the house is telling themselves statements like, “Nothing is going to happen,” or “Stop overreacting!”

When a part of you believes that it is in danger, dismissing it can cause it to get even louder. If you’ve tried telling yourself, “Everything will be fine,” you might have noticed a response like, “Well, what if it’s not??”

You might notice better luck if you work WITH the anxious part, instead of against. (Click here to read about How to Manage Emotions Differently).

The reality is, you cannot guarantee that nothing will happen, and this anxious part will always have a rebuttal. Try this CBT skill of going through your worst case scenario. For example, if you leave the house, you MIGHT have a panic attack. If you have a panic attack, you MIGHT not be able to escape or find help. Say you forget all of your coping skills and end up curled up on the sidewalk until the panic attack ends. Maybe you feel embarrassed and return home defeated. Yes, this sounds terrible! AND you will survive. Panic attacks last, on average, 3-5 minutes. It will end and you will return home. But most likely, things will not go this bad. You will likely use your skills, find a place to sit, or even find someone to help. Letting yourself explore worst case scenario can help ease this anxious part.

Another way to work with this anxious part is to challenge the extreme fear statements, such as “I’m dying,” or “I won’t survive this.” Anxiety, like any emotion, is just sensations in the body. When anxiety strikes, remind yourself: “I’m not dying, I’m having anxiety. It will go away eventually.” “I can survive this, I’m just really uncomfortable right now.” “Even if I feel anxious, I know that I am safe.”

Step 3: Face Your Fears

This is a cliché statement, but it is one of the only things that works to overcome a phobia. If you have a fear to leave the house, then the only way to teach your brain that leaving the house isn’t scary, is by leaving the house and having safe experiences.

The best way to do this is by taking baby steps. Start with what feels slightly uncomfortable, but not overwhelming. This can be different for everybody, but some examples are:

Take a walk down the street while practicing deep breathing.
Go to the park with a safe friend.
Meditate on imagining yourself leaving the home.

As you start to feel comfortable with different challenges, then “level up” to the next hardest thing. This is called Exposure Therapy and is very effective in helping to overcome phobia.

One of the most important pieces of exposure therapy is to end the experience with a positive belief. Tell your brain after each experience, “I survived leaving my home.” Even if you had a panic attack, remind yourself, “I survived that experience.” This will teach your brain that it doesn’t need to activate the anxiety every time you leave the house.

Therapy Can Help

If you’d like a guide through the process, or need someone to help you better understand your cognitive errors, beliefs around leaving the house, triggers, and to identify coping skills, try seeing a mental health therapist. Fortunately, teletherapy has shown to be just as effective as in-person therapy, so you won’t need to leave your home to get started.

To find a therapist, go to Psychology Today and search for someone specializing in trauma or anxiety disorders, who also offers telehealth.

Even if you’re not ready for therapy, these three steps can help you finally overcome your fear to leave the house!

Have you ever struggled with a fear to leave the house? What has worked for you? Comment below!

Other posts you might like:
Overcome Your Fear of Flying
Is it Possible to Change your Reality?