5 Life-Changing Steps to Help your Fear of Flying

You’ve been planning the trip, you’re excited to create new experiences, but as soon as you click the “purchase ticket” button, your body is filled with dread. Fear of flying can make travel unbearable! Fortunately, it is 100% treatable.

Fear of flying, or aerophobia, is a common phenomenon that can limit and frustrate people that want or need to travel. As a therapist, and more importantly a cured former aerophobe, I have experienced first-hand how to overcome this disorder. This post is ALL ABOUT how to overcome your fear of flying.

Step 1: What’s the Fear?

Any anxiety created by the body is in response to a perceived threat. Contrary to popular belief, not all fear of flying has to do with a perceived threat of the plane crashing. It’s important to know exactly what your brain is responding to so that you know how to work with it.

For some, the plane crashing is the main concern, for others, it could be the feeling of being trapped, the fear of not having control, or even the fear of getting sick while on the plane. For me, it was the fear of having a panic attack on the plane, because, well, that’s what would happen when I got on planes.

Ask yourself, what am I afraid of? If the answer doesn’t come to you immediately, try imagining yourself getting on the plane and see what thoughts come up naturally.

Step 2: Exposure Therapy

Anxiety is typically tied to experiences. The more you have a bad experience around flying, the more your brain will believe that the fear of flying is necessary for survival. Exposure therapy involves creating experiences that challenge the fear. This doesn’t necessarily mean to jump on a plane right away, but it does mean to start exposing yourself to the idea of flying. Exposure therapy works in a sequence. You start with something that activates the fear but doesn’t push you over the edge. This might look like imagining yourself getting on a plane, watching videos of people on planes, going to the airport and watching planes take off, and eventually going on short plane trips (if financially feasible).

The important thing to know about exposure therapy is that it WILL be uncomfortable. Your body will sense the threat and start to activate the sympathetic nervous system. As you are feeling uncomfortable, try and pair it with positive thoughts like “you are safe,” as well as utilizing deep long breaths to let the body know that it’s okay to calm down.

Step 3: Normalize the Body Sensations

Whenever your sympathetic nervous system gets activated, a lot of uncomfortable things start happening in the body. If you don’t know what is happening, it can be alarming, and you might start to panic. To normalize the body sensations, it’s helpful to understand that the purpose of the sympathetic nervous system activating in times of crisis is to give you energy and to help you survive.

Adrenaline and cortisol begin pumping through your body to give you quick energy, your heart begins pumping faster, shortening your breath, to get blood and energy chemicals through your system. Oftentimes, your frontal lobe (the conscious decision-making part of the brain) turns off, allowing your body to be more instinctual. Your digestive system will slow down, trying to consume all of the possible energy before letting it leave the system. Your limbs might go numb or tingly as your body tries to divert the blood to your vital organs. No wonder you feel uncomfortable!

When you start to feel nausea, tingly legs, a fast heartbeat, it can be helpful to remind yourself that these are all signs that your body is working. It’s doing what it thinks it should do when there’s a threat. Knowing this doesn’t make it more comfortable, but it can help you to not get more anxious, allowing the sensations to go away faster.

Know that these sensations are temporary and will likely go away in a few minutes once your brain realizes that you are not in danger.

Step 4: Use Your Five Senses

Your five senses, sight, hearing, taste, touch and smell, are your bodies way of interacting with the outside world. Whenever your body is in a state of alert, these senses might be heightened, scanning the world for any threats.

When you have a fear of flying, things you might not otherwise notice, like odd sounds coming from the wing, lights flickering, sensations in your body, can all be on high alert. In order to help this, you can choose to give these senses something else to focus on.

For taste, you might chew some gum or a favorite snack. For sound, you might play some of your favorite music or listen to a calming meditation (loud enough to drown out the plane noises). For sight, you might close your eyes, watch a movie, or read a magazine. For smell, you might put on some lavender oil or a small pillow with your partner’s perfume on it. For touch, you might get a soft blanket or a fidget toy. Find something for all of your senses and allow your body to fully focus on these things during take-off or any time during the flight that you start to feel anxious.

Step 5: Use CBT Techniques for Fear of Flying

CBT, or cognitive behavioral therapy, uses techniques to challenge your thinking, which can change the way you feel. It may not be as simple as telling yourself, “Don’t be afraid,” but there are some statements that can help while you’re on the plane.

If your fear is that the plane might crash, or an odd noise means the plane is breaking, then a good challenge is to look around you. Does the flight attendant look relaxed? Are the businesspeople still calmly typing on their computers? By looking at the people who fly often, you will be able to tell yourself that if they aren’t alarmed, then things are probably going as planned.

If your fear is that you feel trapped, then it may be helpful to tell yourself, “I could get up if I wanted to. If I REALLY wanted to, I could make a scene and they would land the plane.” (No joke, I used to tell myself this). The trick is letting yourself believe that you aren’t really trapped, you’re just choosing to stay put.

If your fear is that your body will stay in panic mode forever, then tell yourself, “This is temporary, it’s always temporary.” The body will, at some, run out of energy and you will either just feel really tired or kind of numb. Either way, you will eventually feel normal again.

Figure out what your nervous thoughts are and prepare yourself ahead of time for what you will say in action.

Start Overcoming your Fear of Flying

Overcoming your fear of flying will take time. As you create new experiences, your body will eventually learn that it does not need to activate whenever you get on a plane. Know that the first couple of times you fly, your body may still feel anxious, and that’s ok. Be patient with yourself and keep trying!

Do you have any experiences with fear of flying? Comment below!